The role of a parent
When coaching minors, sports clubs have to create a triangle between the athletes, their parents, and coaches.
It's imperative that all of the work together to get the best result for the child. It's worth pointing out that the best result for kids is not winning but participating. Kids love to play and most of them just enjoy participating. They would rather play for a losing team than be on the bench of a winning team.
Setting expectations
Parents need to ask themselves some specific questions. Why is my child participating in this sport and not some other? What specific goals do they hope to achieve? How do we define success at the end of the season?
Now ask your child the same questions.
If the answers to the questions above are aligned, a solid base can be set if the child's coach is up to the task. As with everything in life, people or clubs do things differently. Some clubs are oriented towards recreation while others focus on competition. Once your child decides on a sport, it's up to the parent to find a club that focuses on being supportive to the child's needs. That's where the third side of the triangle comes in. Coaches and parents need to see if the clubs ambitions are in line with the child’s desires.
If everything checks out, there should be no reason to delay starting the child's training process.
Push (gently)
Now that the training process started, a routine has to be established. School, homework, training, and rest (play) need to be arranged in such a way that the child doesn't feel being just moved from one task to another like on a conveyer belt. They need to have a lot of unstructured time (rest and play) where they can express themselves creatively. The younger the kid the more time should be allocated to play time.
There will be times when the child would rather continue playing than train. Now it's up to the parent to gently push the kid into i-want-to-train mode. Children seek having a routine with little surprises even though they might not express it directly.
Having a few training sessions per week which are (almost) mandatory will help greatly in that. It's OK to skip a training session now and than but if the number of excuses to skip training starts to grow it is time to have another conversation with your child
Reevaluation
Parents, their children, and coaches need to reevaluate their progress on a regular basis. It's an opportunity for children to let their parents know if they are happy where they are, if they enjoy the training process and how training affects their general life. Is the training schedule to packed so that it doesn't leave room for school and free time? Is the initial excitement fading and the child looking for something else? Does it enjoy competing? All of these questions can lead to the kid training more or fewer or even changing the sport entirely.
It's important to listen to the child and then find a way to keep them in sports by making it fun and part of their life. Once they lose interest for any reason, it's going to be very difficult to get them back to training. This is especially true once they become a teenager.
Keeping the "ball rolling" is the main task of the parents by finding the right sport for their children.
Letting them fail
There aren't many places in the life of a child where they can own everything. Once they join a club parents need to emphasize that they are responsible for their success and failures. The key here is to let them know it's OK to try and fail, even multiple times. With time, children will find solutions to overcome problems and gain valuable skills for the future. They will learn to take risks, develop critical thinking, and make friends which are all great tools to have later in life. They will learn that hard work is, well, hard. But once they put in the work they will see results. Results won’t be there tomorrow or the day after. But with a lot of work put in, they will soon realize how much they have improved. Also, they will realize that excuses are cheap and won’t get them very far. If there is a problem they can either work on solving it or just be sorry for themselves and watch other children have more fun.
Some red flags
Parents need to talk to coaches on a regular basis to ensure their child develops correctly but there are things they can and should talk about white with other things should be avoided (red flags)
Parents can talk about:
Their child’s training performance (are they engaged or going through the motions)
Competition performance (do they seem scared, how they cope with loses, do they enjoy competition)
Interaction with team mates (do they engage with them in a friendly and respectful manner)
What parents mustn't talk about:
Team roster (why is this/my kid (not)playing)
Team tactics (which position/role a child should take inside the team)
Coaching methods (they need to do more this and much less of that)
Sport is about having fun
The one thing people need to keep in mind for children joining a club and starting to compete is that it's all about having fun. Most coaches training young children are volunteers, or if they get paid some amount, or earn little money so that it's still a way for them to have fun and get their head cleared after a long day at work. Referees who made a bad call here or there are also humans and make mistakes. Take it easy, support your child and once they get into their teenage years they are hopefully 100% engaged in a active lifestyle
